Divorcing Someone With A Personality Disorder? Behaviors You And Your Divorce Lawyer Can Expect And How To Handle Them
When you finally decide that you cannot remain married to someone who has an uncontrolled personality disorder, you need to find a divorce lawyer who understands your situation. Both you and your divorce lawyer can expect some of the following behaviors from your ex when your ex has been diagnosed with a personality disorder and is not taking care of him- or herself. The right lawyer can help you weather this storm with some legal actions that can be very effective when dealing with these disorders during a divorce.
Narcissistic Personality Disorders and Divorce
Narcissists can be some of the most controlling and potentially violent people. (If there was any kind of domestic abuse present in your marriage, it may escalate during the divorce.) Their inflated sense of self combined with that loss of control over everything you are doing means that you can expect to see outbursts in court, threatening and harassing phone calls, emails and texts, and he or she may even attempt to drive by your home repeatedly to check up on you or make you uncomfortable. You and your lawyer will need to document many of these behaviors and then file a restraining order and a protective order that requires a police protective detail so that you and/or your children remain safe. Someone who is narcissistic may completely overlook these orders and still attempt to hurt you or the children, but then you have adequate grounds for a divorce, alimony, and child support.
Borderline Personality Disorder and Divorce
Someone with borderline personality disorder wavers between psychotic and neurotic behaviors. He or she will frequently appear calm and collected in court, but then threaten, bully, belittle, harass and intimidate you when no one else is around to witness the behaviors. Do what you can to document these incidents, including getting your ex to put the nastiness into emails and texts so that you can show your lawyer how you are being dehumanized and manipulated.
Also do not be surprised if your ex tries to demonize you by filing false allegations of child abuse and neglect, or attempts to make you look like the worst possible person in any way he or she can. If demonizing you does not work, a person with borderline personality disorder may try the opposite approach by making him- or herself out to be a saint or angel. You will have to be the one to point these behaviors out to your lawyer, even if your lawyer already has a lot of experience with these cases. In all matters of dealing with your ex, get everything in writing for your lawyer, and use your lawyer as a go-between and shield against the nasty things your ex attempts to do. Your divorce lawyer will back you and support you so long as you go to him or her for support and help when your ex attempts anything.
For a divorce lawyer, contact an attorney such as Kenneth J. Molnar Attorney.